Hella Damned Funny

You don't have to own a cat for this one...

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned
on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line,
covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They
phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and
the
couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put
out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat
shut in the house because "she" always tries to eat the bird. The wife
goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat.
The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. The wife doesn't want the
driver to know the house will be empty.She explains to the taxi driver
that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to
say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so
long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the
bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I
had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it
worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the
back yard!"
The cabdriver hit a parked car...

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