velvetechos | (no subject)

I don’t think it’s possible for the human mind to fully understand the concept of death. To grasp the idea of no longer existing. To see a point to life, when all the “Changes” they work towards, all the goals they wish to accomplish, are all in vain. There is no future, the cycles just keep repeating themselves. The actions are the same, the same basic problems are at the root of it all. Only the faces change.

I remember walking down a long dusty road, between my own home, and a friend of mine’s home, with two guys. There was a small bird, a magpie, hopping around in some bushes. It wouldn’t have taken a scientist to tell us that the bird was wounded, and being the animal lover that I am, I decided to stop and pick the bird up. The bird was on the other side of a fence, out by a river, and in my clunky heels I couldn’t climb the fence, so it was up to Tyler and Martin to retrieve animal. The bird was screeching, and hopping about, beating it’s wings, but unable to fly away. Finally they caught him, and brought him back to me. I started talking about how we needed to get him to a veterinarian. I carried the bird carefully, yet firmly enough to where he couldn’t get away, and watched him, to make sure he was alright, and we continued on to my friend’s house.

After about five minutes, the bird started gulping for air. He gave one last twitch, and then his little body went stiff in my hands. It was the most frightening feeling in the world. I felt a cold wave pass through my palms, and I started screaming for Tyler to take the bird. All I could say was “The bird! The bird died! I don’t like to touch dead things!”

Now the weird part about this, is that I had held my dead friend’s hand, I had held deceased pets, I had even held my father’s hand after he passed away. There was just something different, something about feeling the life exit this bird’s body, that was like nothing I’d ever felt before. At that moment, had I believed in spirits, and in the afterlife, I would have sworn that the strange cold feeling was his spirit leaving his body.