Well Well Well

Okey dokey. I'm about to get out there and look for a job some more. If I could only get the motivation to walk out my front door. For some reason the idea of putting my socks on is keeping me glued to this chair. No I'm not lazy. I'm just stuffed. Heheheh. Ate my leftover ox tail stew for breakfast.
How do you cook it Tanya? I'd never made it before, so I just boiled the ox tails, in water full of garlic cloves and pepper, then added potatoes, beef broth, carrots and some onions. YUMMY!!!!!
Jake starts his obedience school tomorrow. That should be interesting. Not sure what to tell the trainer, the guy told me to bring some treats with me, to reward Jake with during training. The problem with that being, Jake doesn't really seem to like treats very much. It's not a medical problem (like when a dog won't eat), he's just not all that interested in them. I've been working with him a bit, seeing as he's four years old, and didn't even "sit" when I got him, but not I've gotten to the point where he'll usually sit, but even if you try to reward him with a milk bone or whatever, he doesn't want it. He just wants loves =-D

In Memory Of Ace

there's the kitten Jake accidently killed. He was such a sweetie, heh, and he had a crush on my chinchilla, Kasha. I think that was taken the day he passed away actually =-( But eh. Not sure what to say here.

Confusion

So I keep dwelling. Ugh.
Death seems so large, something so uncomprehendable. I try to imagine just what can cause it, at what point does your body actually just decide to give out. What factors contribute and what goes through your mind. Is it something you realize, if you're in the situation where it happens naturally? Is it a thought, then an end? I try to picture Ace in the dog's mouth, a little kitten, and his body just giving out. Did he understand? I know, I know, animals don't think on a personal level or whatever, is supposedly the truth, but it's not one I neccesarily agree with, when it comes to most mammals. A personal level would be making "I" statements, but for them it is more of a collective thought, they don't recognize themselves. Not sure how to put it into words, but I know what I'm trying to say. It's just impossible for me to register, one minute you're cuddling and playing with somebody, and taking their picture, and then you go out, you come back, and find out one of your other beloved pets has mauled them. And in your mind, it's surreal, and uncomprehendable, but it's reality unfortunately. And then I remember my dad back in February, and that's not comprehendable as well. It just seems like it's up there above my head somewhere, because I can't register it in my mind. I can't grab that one moment, I can't figure out what happened and how, and I keep trying to.
I'm rambling